Isaac Newton wrangles with the calculus of career change

Sir Isaac Newton visited the modern era on a personal escorted tour conducted by Arnold Timecop. Newton was fascinated by the advances since his time in science and technology.

Timecop said, "Sir Isaac, I can arrange an extended stay for you in the modern era. Imagine how significantly you might help humanity solve the puzzle of what gravity really is. You started all this, and now you could help our struggling string theorists and lift gravity beyond where Einstein left it."

Newton said, "I would not want to do that. Modern mathematics and physics make no sense."

Timecop said, "Sir Isaac, for a champion like you, it would be trivial. I shall take you to the right place." Timecop led Newton to a cavernous Barnes & Noble bookstore around the corner and quickly zig-zagged to the "Dummies" book section.

Timecop gave Newton a stack of books containing "Physics For Dummies," "Physics Workbook For Dummies," "Calculus for Dummies," "Calculus Workbook for Dummies," "Calculus II for Dummies," "Pre-Calculus For Dummies," "Differential Equations For Dummies," crowned by "The Calculus Lifesaver: All the Tools You Need to Excel at Calculus".

Timecop said, "Here are several popular modern calculus and physics books. Why don't you review them, and then decide."

At the bookstore's browsing corner, over Starbucks coffee, Newton rapidly read all the Dummies Physics and Calculus books, shaking his head gravely.

Timecop said, "Sir Isaac, wasn't that easy? Now let us visit the university library and check out some more advanced books"

Newton said, "I can't do this calculus. Take me back to my time."

Timecop said, "Sir Isaac, did you not invent calculus and lay the very foundations for physics? What exactly is your problem with dy/dx?"

Newton said, "That, sir, is exactly my problem. You dummies of my posterity have ignored the fluxions and fluents method of my invention of calculus. You have adopted the dy/dx notation of my archival Leibniz. I won't do calculus in Leibniz's notation for dummies."

Timecop sighed. He located the Newton-Leibniz heated dispute Wiki to familiarize himself about Newton's quarrel with Leibniz. On their way out, they passed the aisle of career guidance books. Newton said, "Maybe I should explore other modern careers," and picked the book "How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success". Newton browsed the ranked list of careers ranked by salary and found physics to be dead last. At the top of the list was Investment Banking/ Banking/ Money Management.

Newton said, "Physics and Mathematics does not pay much in my era. I see that the situation has not changed. Perhaps I shall try out money management."

Timecop was excited. Maybe he could get Newton to stay for an extended period of time in this modern era.

Timecop said, "Great! I shall try to fix up a job for you at Lehman Brothers."

Newton said, "I meant, I shall quit physics and change career to money management in my own era. There is money in it."

Newton returned to his era, in real life, and became the Master of the Royal Mint. There certainly was money in it.

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